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10:44 am: Gonzoriffic Turns 15
Gonzoriffic's 15th anniversary finds me humbled, thankful, emotional, reflective, and inspired. Over the last four years, it has finally turned into what I always dreamed it might someday be. I'm surrounded by a small group of incredible artists who work together in all senses of the word in a creative environment that is healthy and free. Now is the best time to be making weird movies, and I'm glad we stuck around long enough to be part of it.

Gonzoriffic at 15 does look a bit different than it did at 10. The crew has gone through several different cycles, people coming and going, some returning and some not. The wonderful part about what Gonzoriffic does is that it captures so many talented folks having fun together and making art. No matter what happens later, good or bad, the moment is preserved forever. And to have documentation of that for over a decade is an incredible thing to look back on. There is nothing I would do differently and nothing I'd change about it.

Here's the thing. When you're inside it like I have been for so long, it's not always easy - or even possible - to see the effect this kind of endeavor has had on those around you. Most of the time, I concentrate on my responsibility to it, making sure it remains a positive thing in my life and my family's life, and keeping up the great relationships with people and places that are a direct result of all the hard work we've put in over the years. I feel like what we're doing is not only good, but good for us. I love watching the directors and actors laughing and making things. I love seeing them embrace after the screenings with their friends and family beaming and chattering away. It's the coolest thing ever.

I don't know how to hang out. I don't know how to chill. Making art with my friends is my social activity, and everyone I see on a regular basis is usually doing something weird or sexy or funny (or all three) either in front of or behind the camera. I'm not burnt out. I'm not tired of it. There's nothing else I'd rather be doing. In the past 5 years, I've lost friends, lost my dad, made many new friends and become a dad myself. I see the world so differently. Time is moving so fast. I'm in love with this, with you, and with art. I hold onto Gonzoriffic because it's a big part of who I am, and I've invested years of my time and your time into it.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for watching. Thank you for remaining. I plan to do the same.

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